Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
