and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
