I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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