Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
