Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
