I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
