We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
