Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize