i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
