I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
