Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
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He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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