i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So vagazzling was a success
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
