I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
