Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
