get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize