I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize