I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
