i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
