Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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