so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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