Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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