She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
