Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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