yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
