i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
two words...techno handjob
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
