he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
