just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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