I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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