i wish peter jackson would direct porn
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
