So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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