Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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