The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
