You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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