i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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