You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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