this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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