So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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