did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
