it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
