just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize