Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
