The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
