Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
