Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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