Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
