I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
