Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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