Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize