Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize