I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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