Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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