i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my being single is dangerous.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
