There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
