I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Randomize
