Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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