Your tits are I can't wait for
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
