so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
