i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize