biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
