I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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