we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
