I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize