youre lurking in front of me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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