I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
