dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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