I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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