What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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